Dealing with the Contrary

It's an extremely difficult realization, everyone has to go through, knowing that people aren't who they appear to be all of the time. It's painful to be deceived or manipulated in any manner, however it's not safe to stay on reserved terms either. We, as a species, need one another to correctly develop and persevere in our world. We cannot live in isolation. We need human interaction. I'd like to offer you the meanings of these strong, effective elements for interaction purposes.

• Vulnerability- the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed. Physically or emotionally.

  
  

• Intimacy- closeness of observation or knowledge of a subject.

  
  

Now knowing this, you may be curious on why this is so significant. Well, vulnerability and intimacy can only be fully welcomed in effective communication. Have you ever noticed how much relief you get whenever you're bottled up and finally decide to find somewhere to scream or someone to rant to? That scream is vulnerability, showing you're upset. It can also be seen as intimacy by expressing yourself in that rant. In "And To The Unmarried I Say...", author Daryl O'neil described the ideal intimacy needed in a relationship as, "in-to-me-see" and he couldn't be more right. If we fail to sacrifice a part of ourselves to establish a genuine connection, we will never be able to move past any problem. To go a bit further, a lack of vulnerability can lead to thoughts and acts of resentment that can be damaging to yourself and others.

Don't think so?

It's truly a snowball effect. Resentment ultimately is created from misunderstandings or more dangerously put, assumptions. This is so important because assumptions don’t need proof, only enough force behind it to be accepted. This then causes a backlash having to correct theories and pushing the truth (which is tiring, giving the responsibility to constantly correct misconstrued information depending on how deep-rooted these assumptions are.) The old folk tale of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" is a great example of assumptions and exposure of the truth. The shepherd boy, thoughtless and unknowledgeable, took advantage of the villagers' vulnerability. Eventually, everyone aware of the truth refused to render aid, causing damage to his flock and resentment from the other villagers. Of course the lesson in this is not to lie but also the extent of what deceiving can do.

Vulnerability and intimacy creates understanding. Put this into today's issues, we see misunderstandings due to a lack of vulnerability. In the last few years, we've seen several debates between people with differing perspectives.  Some so deep-rooted, there's a refusal to see the other side of the coin. With all there is to worry about in the world, right and wrong does exist, however there is also some perspective to gather with that. Though all of these are difficult discussions, they can all be diffused using vulnerability and intimacy. It's equally important to give vulnerability as it is to seek it from things we don't fully understand.